Posts Tagged marriage

Civil Unions are not enough

Several people have said to me that I should be happy with civil unions and we shouldn’t be trying for full marriage.  These people include: my cousin Jonathan, the Mormon women stuck at the light in the protest on Sunday, and Sir Elton John.  So first EJ, unlike Britain which distinguishes between civil and religious marriage, the US only had one type of marriage.  So while civil unions in Britain are fully legal equivalences of civil marriage, it is not the case here.  Civil unions include only a small subset of the rights afforded to the straight couple who can get married.  Second, civil unions aren’t universally available.  Only 11 states have some sort of civil unions and the federal government offers no recognition of such relationships.  If civil unions existed in every state and gave us similar tax and inheritance benefits from the IRS, then maybe we would be happy with it.  Since we don’t even have them, we can’t very well be happy with them.

And if we had them, it still wouldn’t be enough.  Should the black community have been happy sitting on the back of the bus?  They still got to where they were going.  Should they have been happy with separate water fountains?  They still got water.  We will not be satisfied until we have achieved equal marriage rights everywhere in the country.  We aren’t going to shut up about it.

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Marriage = One Man + One Woman

defendequalityThe bigots who oppose marriage equality for me and other gays and lesbians love to say that God intended marriage to be one man and one women.  Besides the blasphemous implication that one knows what GOD wants, this is just plain wrong.  My cousin DebraJoy said:

When I voted for Prop 8…I was voting my conscience, which tells me that the definition of marriage for the last 6,000 years has been union between male and female.  This has been true in virtually all societies.  

First off that’s wrong in the current context of our global make-up.  Islam allows it’s followers to have one man and many women.  They make-up about 12% of the global population.  88% is far from virtually all.  Also, six countries and two states recognize gay marriage.  That’s not many so the others would likely make up a “virtually all” majority.  But if you look at just the Christian and pre-Christian Biblical world, there is a much longer history of polygamy than not.  King Solomon was said to have 700 wives and 300 concubines.  And until relatively recently it wasn’t one man and one woman, it was one man and his wife as property.  Luckily women are no longer viewed as property.  But the idea of gay marriage redefining marriage is just a lie.  Marriage has been continuously redefined, whether by Augustine who sought to eliminate polygamy among Christians in the 5th century or the Mormons who brought it back in the 19th.  If marriage is going to be defined by the government than it should be available to all adult citizens equally.  Marriage equality now!

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Loriann and Brian’s Wedding

Flowers of Hate

Flowers of Inequality

In April of 2005 I flew down to Los Angeles to attend the wedding of my cousin Loriann and her betrothed, Brian.  I flew down at my own expense.  I showed up looking fabulous in my red shoes that matched my tie.  I bought them a gift from the registry.  I made them a great photo album from the photos I took at the wedding.  How do they repay my many kindnesses?  During the ceremony the preacher said, “Marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman.”  I was crushed.  I’m still very hurt by this.  Did they not know I was in the room?  I felt like walking out and I would have if I hadn’t had to climb over my parents and two other elderly guests sitting in the pew next to me.  It was the first slap in the face from the family who claims to love me.

Considering two out of three marriages in Southern California end in divorce, odds are this won’t be Loriann’s only wedding in her life.  If gay marriage is still outlawed in California (or what ever state she lives in) I will be showing up to her second wedding, but with a hoard of protesters to picket the ceremony and the reception.  These are the consequences of their actions. They have awakened this inside of me with their hate and intolerance.  I won’t be silent anymore.

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